My life is so ordinary. it feels miserable, to be just your
ordinary girl. nothing exciting ever happens to me. my father leaving me when i
was ten wasn’t what you would call exciting. my mother dying shortly after that
was one experience i would gladly try to forget. i live in a large empty house
full of sad memories and even sadder people. my sister has been working ever
since my mom died. she’s been responsible for me ever since. sometimes i wonder
why other people got it all made. everyone else has the life i want, the life
full of happiness and bursting with exciting things. but what i got instead is
this.
i think about my friends with envy. why do they have all the luck,
i wonder? they get the cuter guys, the better clothes, even better hair! I look
at the mirror and take a second look at myself. I wonder what should I wear.
It’s the first day of senior year and I want everyone to think of me as the
"cute senior" this year.
"hurry up, breakfast is ready! if you don’t hurry you might
miss your bus!" that’s my sister Sandy. she’s alright for a sister,
considering she works her butt off and studies at the same time. her job makes
it kind of hard for me to spend time with her.
"Alright, alright! I’m coming! And would you please knock
first, next time?" I quickly pick a cute shirt that matches my new pants.
why oh why didn’t i wake up earlier this time?
"Oh, just hurry up! I’m going to be late too, you know?"
"Um, are you coming home early? Because I was thinking if we
could…."
"I’m going to have to do overtime tonight, so I was thinking
that I’ll just leave you with some money and you buy your dinner. Is that fine
with you?" I wasn’t too thrilled to hear that.
“Whatever…. I mean ok”.
"Good. Here’s the money." she hands me some money and my
lunch. "You should get going. You’ll be late if you don’t leave now."
"Right. See you tomorrow then…" I was disappointed, so I
picked up my things and headed out.
I couldn’t help but continue with my pondering on the way to the
bus stop. Some of my friends are like me, I mean, like me in good ways. My gang
loves music and we’ve even got our own group. But aside from that, the only
thing that keeps us together is that we all go to the same school. As the bus
pulls to a stop in front of me, I see a small car honking behind it.
"Hey Thea!" I look and see that its my classmate Jenny.
Jenny is the typical smart and simple girl. She’s the heart of the group; I
guess she deserves to be called the heart of the group because she keeps us
together. Her dad always drives her to school early. I wonder why they’re late?
"Hey Jenny! How come you’re heading to school just now?"
I walked towards their car and see that it wasn’t her dad that’s driving their car
but her mom. The other kids got on the bus already and it was starting to drive
off.
"Dad’s not going to work so my Mom’s going to drive me there.
C’mon in and we’ll give you a ride!" I got in and put away my dark
thoughts for later. We chatted a little bit about our expectations for senior
year, and we laughed as we recounted stories of our junior year. Everyday stuff
for people my age.
We got to our school a few minutes before the class started. Jenny
kissed her mom good-bye, and then we raced upstairs and found that the teacher
was going to be a little late for a change. In a corner of the room I see my
friends waving at the two of us. One of my friends, Andrew, was belting out
"only one" in tune to Liam’s guitar. Liam is also one of my friends.
I notice Andrew first because he’s been my friend since junior
high, he’s cute, nice, smart and most of all he likes me. I kind of like him
too but I’m not sure yet so I guess he’ll just have to wait. I take the seat
next to Andrew and began to sing along with him. Jenny sits next to Liam so she
can see his chord work better.
“Hi guys!” Oh here’s another one. Amie, “Cheerleader” describes
her to a T. Get my point? She gets on my nerve most of the time, but come to
think of it, she’s nice in a hilarious kind of way.
Amie starts talking about the upcoming spring dance. So what else
is new? “Well guys, have any of you decided on what we’re all going to wear?
And what about our plans for the dance?"
I had to change the topic quickly to make her stop blabbering,
“Hey guys, I’ve got a new job”.
“Really? what kind of job is it this time?” Jenny asks me sweetly.
It’s just her nature, I guess.
“Well it’s not that big of a job but I’m a part-time singer at
this small club downtown. It doesn’t pay much, but it’ll have to do."
Suddenly Andrew sits beside me. "Really? Don’t you think
that, um…you’re too young to be working? And does your sister know about
this?" he places his hand on mine and looks at me with such sweet concern
I thought I was going to melt!
I was about to answer him when Amie pulls Andrew’s arms and hugs
him so tight I can see him turning purple. She turns to me and asks me, “What
did your sister say?"
“Well that’s exactly the problem! I haven’t told her, yet.”
"But won’t she be worried? Don’t you think you should tell
her before taking the job?” Jenny asked me.
"I was going to tell her later, but…” I thought that it would
be better if I told her sooner, instead of later. ”OK! I’m going to tell her
tonight, that is, if I could stay up all night.”
“Good! Then we’ll be watching you tomorrow night! Will that be
alright?”
“But we’re supposed to watch a movie tomorrow night!” Amie
replies.
I struggle to keep myself from insisting that’s its not necessary
for them to see me at work. I was about to say that it wouldn’t be a problem
when the door slammed open. My Math teacher rushed inside looking a bit
hassled. She mumbles a short explanation and starts the lesson even before the
students could seat themselves in order.
As the lesson went on I wonder how things would
have been if I was born as a different person. Life often confuses me. You have
to make so many decisions that will affect your whole life. My mom died when I
was eleven and the sad part about it is she died the day before my birthday.
So, instead of enjoying my 12th birthday with my friends, I spent it
mourning and feeling guilty because I didn’t have the chance to tell her how
much I love her. The funny thing is I didn’t cry. I don’t know why but the
tears just didn’t come.
Life since then had been different for me and my
sister Sandy. The burden of taking care of me was passed down to her after my
dad left and my mom died. He just left us without saying anything, just like
that! Poof! One minute he’s there then the other minute he’s gone…
“Thea! Hey are you okay?” Andrew pokes me in the arm with his
pencil. Andrew often sits besides me.
"Wha…What were you saying?”
“You don’t seem yourself today. Are you feeling fine? Do you feel
sick or something?”
Andrew is such a nice guy. I like him. And the fun part is he
likes me too! The only thing left is Amie. She’s all over him like some vine or
snake or something. Although we like each other it doesn’t mean that I’m head
over heels in love with him. I just wanted to make that clear.
Time passes so agonizingly slow when you’re in a class, even more
so when the guy you like is being manhandled by the girl on the other side.
Andrew sits between me and Amie. Or is it Amie sits besides Andrew wherever he
goes? Something like that. What seemed a lifetime later, my homeroom class
suddenly had a very cute surprise. He walked in looking so cute in his outfit!
He seemed so shy, too.
“People listen up we have a new student in our class.” My homeroom
teacher, Mr. Hale, is a very nice guy. He treats the students well, but
sometimes I think he’s being too lenient. “Well Mr. Marquez would you care to
introduce yourself?”
Amie managed a soft “oh great another addition to the freak club.”
"Will you shut up Amie?" she always manages to blurt out
the most embarrassing things. The guy was starting to sweat a little.
“is it really that necessary to introduce myself?” he whispered to
Mr. Hale. He was clearly starting to regret coming to class this day.
Then the blabbermouth started to speak again. “Well you see… Um
what’s your name again, oh right, Eric. You have to be one of us to be one of
us am I right?”
“Amie, you see, Eric doesn’t have to be one of us to be one of us
because you’re not making any sense” Wait a minute did I just say that? Then
Eric starts to speak again and everyone’s attention is drawn towards him. Who can
blame him; he’s really quite a catch. When he gathered enough courage to speak
up the stupid bell rang.
“Don’t forget about your projects! It’s due next Monday! Thea
would you please stay for a while I need to talk to you about something.” Mr.
Hale was talking to Eric as the class filed out of the room. I wonder what he
wants! I haven’t done anything wrong, yet. Andrew quickly whispered that he was
going to wait for me at the cafeteria. Then that snake Amie grabbed him and he
didn’t get to finish his sentence. Anyway back to my professor.
“What can I do for you sir?”
“Well you see Ms. Lee, Eric here needs a partner for the project.
And since you’re grouped with Andrew and Amie I figured those two can handle it
on their own. So I thought that maybe you could pair up with Eric. That is if
you agree.”
Wow! Is this my lucky day or what! I get to work with a cute guy!
Only problem is he’s too shy. Well I’ll just have to get to know him better.
“Of course I totally agree!
That is, if it’s ok with you, Eric” Maybe I should have answered a little less
enthusiastically. He might think I’m some sort of a loser!
He nodded slightly, and glanced a bit at my eyes. He’s too damn
shy, that’s for sure!
“Well, I guess that means he agrees with it, too. So, good luck to
the both of you. You can go now.” Mr. Hale packed up his things and left the
room.
“Thank you sir!”
When I got home that afternoon I went directly to my room. The day
went by so fast that I didn’t notice it.
"Great no homework!"
I grab my cd player and just when I was about to press play the
phone rang. I picked it up and said….
"hello!"
And a voice whom I barely recognized replied,
"Hello good evening may I speak to Thea?"
"Speaking who is this?"
"Oh hi! It’s Eric from class am I disturbing you?"
I was shocked for a second but I struggled to keep myself poised. How
the hell did he get my number?
"Um hello, Thea still there?",
"uh..wha…what…?yes still here!, may I ask how did you get
my number?"
"i asked around for it"
"oh i see so can i do anything for you?"
"yup, i’m just going to ask you if we can meet tomorrow to
talk about our project let’s say about lunchtime at the cafeteria, if that’s
alright with you"
"uh… ok… i guess… sure thing see you tomorrow
then!"
"yup till tomorrow thanks and goodnight"
yah same here".
As i slowly put the receiver down i realized i was red all over my
face and i can’t seem to take this stupid smile off my face. I snap myself out
of this delusional state and picked up my guitar and strummed until i felt
tired and went to sleep, still with this stupid smile on my face.
i woke up early and all i found was a note saying………
"hey
sis, sorry needed to go to work early, be coming home late there’s dinner in
the fridge and your allowance for today take care love lots!…. sandy
"great!
now how am I gonna tell her now, well i just have to wait for another chance…
i was hoping she could watch me perform.. sheesh!"
as usual,
i go to school with high spirits and besides i have a lunch date that is if
everything goes well. as I go to each of my class I experience great excitement
because lunch is drawing near. As the bell rang I hurriedly went to the
cafeteria and see him there waiting for me. I don’t get it I just don’t know
how I could be infatuated with a guy I barely know. What if he was a criminal
or something but of course I’m just exaggerating. Well here goes nothing.
“hi
Thea!”
“hi Eric!
So did you wait long?”
“actually
I just got here so what about our project?”
Wow he’s
so cute. Well here I go daydreaming again.
“uh..Thea
are you alright?”
“what!
oh! I’m sorry were you saying something?”
“yeah I
was just telling you about my idea but I guess you’re not feeling well.”
“oh I’m
sorry I really am I’m going to listen now. You have my full attention.”
“Hi Thea!”
Great
it’s Amie and Andrew’s with him. She really has a knack for picking the wrong
time to appear.
“oh.. Hi
guys! Where’s everyone else”
“Well
they are in the library and Andrew insisted on coming here to see how you and
your new friend are doing.
“Is that
true?”
“Well
yeah, you didn’t show up at lunch so I was worried. So.. Care to introduce us
to your new friend?”
“oh ok!
Eric these are my friends Amie and Andrew and the others you’ll get to know
some other time”
“hi there
I’m Thea’s best friend sorry we didn’t get the chance to be properly introduced
earlier”
“It’s ok.
Well Thea I’ll just talk to you later ok?”
“are you
sure?”
Then Amie
starts blabbering again. I hate it when her “cheerleader” attitude gets the
best of her. But then I see Andrew staring aimlessly at Eric looking like he
was, I don’t know…jealous! Nah! I don’t think so he’s just getting used to
Eric’s presence.
“hey Eric
I heard you were the captain of the basketball team in your school is that true
well, you see Andrew here is also the team captain”
“sorry to
disappoint you but I don’t know what you’re talking about. Later Thea”
Eric
walked away looking like he was insulted at what Amie said. It was as if he was
disappointed or something. The bell rings and I went to my class. As I enter
the room I see Eric sitting there and staring out into space I didn’t dare ask
him what was wrong so I spend the whole period taking small glances at him and
wondering what was bothering him. And the worst thing happens.
“Ms.
Lee!, Would you mind telling your classmates what I meant when I said that Wilde, ‘forged a devastating portrait of
the effects of evil and debauchery on a young aesthete?”
Great my
professor caught me and it had to be my favorite teacher Mr. Lair. He always
finds something wrong with me. He’s my literature professor and he’s just 5
years older than my sister. Now the show begins.
“I’m
sorry sir but to tell you the truth I wasn’t listening”
“just as
I thought…Well it’s very modest of you to admit that you weren’t paying
attention so I’m saving you from detention.”
“really!
Wow thank you sir”
“Wait a
minute there’s no need to be excited about it I just said you were saved from
detention but not from a 350 word essay describing the story of “The picture of
Dorian Gray and I’ll have it on my desk by next week are we clear?”
“yes sir”
Great just what I needed.
“good! well
then class dismissed”
well I guess what I got was better than
detention. I saw Eric leave the room and I hurriedly went after him.
“hey
there wait up!”
“oh hi
thea, is there any problem?”
“nothing
really I was just going to apologize if we didn’t get to discuss our project. I
was just a little bit distracted, im really sorry.”
“that’s
ok it wasn’t you really…”
“then
what was it then? Was it something Amie said?”
“well..
Kinda.. but im not in the mood to tell you maybe some other time… and about the
project let’s discuss it tomorrow if its ok with you?”
“uh..
sure if you say so.. bye then” as he walked away he turned around and gave out
a faint smile which completed my day.
When I
got home I saw another note left by my sister. And as usual it said that she
was working overtime again. Sometimes I think about what she does for me and it
makes me realize how lucky I really am. As I finished doing my homework, thank
god, my cell beeped there was a message from Eric telling me to log on. And so
I did wondering why he wanted me to do so and when I logged on I opened my
email and there it was the cutest greeting card from him. I asked what it was for
and he just said…
“its for
what you did”
“what did
I do?”
“well you
did show me you were concerned and that’s a big thing for me”
“oh,
that, it was nothing I was just worried that’s all” >>send<< oh my
god did I just blurt that out now he’s gonna think I’m so into him..
“really
that’s new most girls back at my school didn’t show much concern about me in
that way”
“what are
you saying I heard you were quite a jock back at your school and I also heard
you were Mr. popular.”
“well you
did hear quite right even though I don’t know were you got all that information
but…”
“but
what?”
“did you
ever felt like even though you’re surrounded by a bunch of people still you
feel alone….? That’s how I felt that’s why I didn’t care much about what people
around me was telling me they were just being malignant….”
“yes sad
to say I kinda do sometimes feel that way, and sometimes you even feel that
when you face other people you need to put on a mask to hide who you really are
because you’re afraid that they wouldn’t be able to accept you..”
“yeah..hey
you know what we should do this more often..”
“you
think so and may I ask why?”
“I enjoy
talking to you..”
“same
here. well gotta get my beauty sleep wouldn’t want to keep you up..”
“actually
it’s fine with me but I wouldn’t want to keep you up either..”
“so see
you tomorrow then..”
“yeah see
you.”
“thanks
for the card..”
“hey I
should be the one thanking you..”
“goodnight..”
Wow was
that real or maybe I was just daydreaming again oh whatever I’m just happy that
happened. My goodness it’s late don’t tell me we talked that long. Well what a
way to end a day. I really hope this will happen again next time. I slowly feel
my eyes closing and yet all I can think about is the conversation I just had
with Eric.
“Wake up
sleepy head! You’re late for school..”
“WHAT?!!
Why didn’t you wake me up earlier!”
But then
I noticed sandy was giggling while I was scurrying around for my things, I
suddenly realized, it was Saturday. Great! What a way to start my day. I went
down for breakfast. While I was eating I saw sandy hurry down the stairs and to
the door.
“don’t
tell me you have work..”
“well..yeah
I do..it’s what pays our bills and keeps you in school, see you later.”
And the
next thing I heard was the door being slammed and the car backing off our
garage.
“and
she’s gone..”
I went
back to my room thinking what I should do first. I already started doing my
essay and I’m almost done so I decided to do that later on. Good thing we don’t
have any homework for the weekend but then again what was I to do all day. As I
lie on my bed my phone beeped. It was a message from Eric telling me to log on.
And that I did.
“morning sleepyhead.
did I wake you up?”
“actually,
no I was just thinking about what I’m going to do today”
“seems to
me you’re bored..wanna come with me..”
“where?”
“to the
library”
“doesn’t
seem to be much fun but what the heck I’ve got nothing to do..”
“who said
we were going to have fun. were going to start our project..”
“oh I
see…sure see you there..”
“see
yah..”
well that
was a bit disappointing there I was thinking he was asking me out. At least I
have something to do.
When I
got to the library he was already there. He greeted me with a smile, something
was different about him but I was glad, he seems happy. We spent four hours in
the library, we were almost done when he suggested we finish some other time.
“wanna
eat?” he asked me as we walked out.
“sure..where
do you want to eat?”
“I
discovered this café just a block from here. My treat.”
As we
walked towards the café we didn’t talk much. When I was about to say
something I realized we were already
there. I noticed that across the café was the bar I worked at. I didn’t dare
say anything at first but while we waited for our food to be served I figured I
had to say something rather than sit there feeling awkward.
“hey…see
that bar across the street. I work there part time”
“really?
How often?”
“every
Friday night..aren’t you going to ask me what I do..”
“you work
as part time singer right?”
“how did
you know?”
“I heard
you humming the other day so I figured..”
“oh I
see…well if it isn’t too much to ask..would you like to come and watch..that is
if you want to..”
“I can’t
promise you that I’d be able to make it..but thanks for the invitation…”
“oh..i..see..”
as I
slumped on my bed I covered my face with a pillow and I screamed. Man! What a
stupid thing to do! Asking him so bluntly, what would he think. And he…he
turned me down. Now that is what I call a disappointment. Now how will I face
him in school. While I was beating myself over what I did the phone rang it was
Andrew.
“oh..hey
drew! What’s up?”
“well
there are try outs tomorrow for the team I was just wondering if you would like
to come and watch and maybe we can have lunch after..that is if you’re not
doing anything”
“sure
thing…”
“uhm..great..well
see you tomorrow then..bye”
I hung up
the receiver he seemed excited about tomorrow didn’t really occur to me that he
might think that it was a date. Well, doesn’t matter as long as I get to go out
tomorrow and not be stuck here at home. I decide to finish my essay. It was a
bit late when I finished it and I heard sandy get in. she went straight to her
room, I didn’t bother asking her how she was because I was sure she’s tired. I
was about to turn off my computer when I noticed there was a message from eric.
It said, “sorry bout turning down your offer didn’t mean to offend you, I would
really like to watch you…thanks for today..goodnight..” I didn’t bother to
reply still thinking bout how I made a fool out of myself today. I fell asleep
thinking bout what he said, did he really mean it or was he just being nice?
The next
morning I wasn’t really myself and it came as a surprise to Sandy. I was
dragging myself down the stairs and i didn’t really bothered eating breakfast.
I was just staring out into space. But then Sandy noticed and pinched my cheek.
“hey that
hurts!”
“I was
just checking if you’re still with me…I thought you were off to never ever
land…what’s bothering you?”
I can’t
tell her I asked out a guy and got turned down, that would be suicide. She
would tease me about it all the time. No I’ve got to tell a lie.
“nothing
I was just thinking about my project due next week…its still half done”
“oh..ok..
got to get going see you later”
“yah see
you..”
before
closing the door Sandy looked back and said..
“but you
see I don’t believe you…I think you’ve gone gaga over a boy”
what
the?..how did she know. Am I that obvious? Well doesn’t matter it’s not true,
or is it? As I pondered on this I looked at my watch, oh shit I’m late.
I arrived
in class just in time, and I saw eric sitting at the far side of the room. I
was battling with myself wether or not I should approach him but then our
professor entered the room. As I sat down I managed to take a quick glance at
him and I was surprised to see him staring at me. I quickly turned away. What
was that about? And hey why the heck am I blushing. All throughout class I
can’t stop thinking about his eyes and the way he looked back at me, there was
something with his gaze that made me feel giddy. What a drag. I can’t
concentrate. I managed to get through class but what about the rest of the
day…what the heck..
